My Second Job: Head of the Wild Goose Chase Department!
The tasks assigned to me during the early days of my second job weren’t any more complex or sensitive than the first; the pay was even lower. Considering a year had passed and inflation had made game CDs slightly more expensive, it didn’t make much financial sense at all. But it was immensely more fascinating to me. Luck had favored me, and I had managed to become an apprentice at a video rental shop. I felt like I was in Silicon Valley. At parties, my mother would boast, ‘His work involves computers.’ I would puff out my chest, and whenever someone asked, ‘So, what exactly do you do?’ I’d reply: ‘I burn CDs, assist customers, help people choose movies—things like that.’ Of course, in the beginning, these exciting tasks were mostly handled by a university student named Farshid, the senior apprentice who gave me orders. Regardless, I gradually learned by watching him and was moving on the front lines of technology at the time. Often, he would entrust me with burning CDs ordered by customers, especially if he ‘had things to do’ and needed to leave the shop in my hands for an hour or two. Because I had quickly earned his trust and proven I could manage the shop, he gave me the space to work while he went off to handle his personal affairs with peace of mind.
I loved Farshid like the older brother I never had. He was modern and tech-savvy. He knew how to pitch every movie, even the ones he hadn’t seen. It was impossible for someone to enter the shop and leave empty-handed. All they had to do was name one or two of their favorite films, and Farshid would list the next ones for them. He was handsome and sociable, too. Later, I realized half the customers came just for Farshid. I wasn’t sharp enough to figure this out on my own; he told me himself once.
That day, I was dusting the CD cases that lined the three walls of the shop like curtains, while Farshid sat at the system. A young, smiling woman, a regular customer, walked in. I immediately hopped down and, to save Farshid the trouble, said, ‘Hello, how can I help? Are you looking for a movie?’ The woman, as if swatting away the buzzing of a fly, waved her hand in the air near her ear and didn’t even look at me. Instead, she struck up a conversation with Farshid. I felt slighted. Although customers usually preferred talking to Farshid and I was used to it, it wasn’t as if they wouldn’t even acknowledge my greeting. I felt thoroughly dejected. Farshid chatted with her and asked her opinion on the last movie he’d rented to her; the young woman praised it enthusiastically. I continued to watch them; I hadn’t yet learned how to ‘turn a deaf ear’ when necessary—a skill one must master as an apprentice. The young woman, after her pleasantries with Farshid, asked him, ‘Do you have the movie “Searching for the Groom”?’
This was where I took a fatal blow. Instead of answering her, Farshid turned to me and said, ‘Go sweep the front door; the sidewalk is dirty.’ He said this with a laugh that felt beneath the dignity of someone whose work ‘involved computers’ and whose mother was proud of him. I had no problem with cleaning; I always cleaned the front, the floor, the windows, everything myself; there was no need for this order. I took the broom and went outside. I felt humiliated. I swept a couple of tiles and realized it was pointless. I said to myself, ‘Better to wash it with water first.’ I went back into the shop to connect the hose to the tap, and that’s when I took another direct hit. As soon as I stepped inside, Farshid said, ‘There’s no need for water and sweeping. Get a hint already when you’re being sent on a wild goose chase.’ My face flushed with embarrassment, and I immediately jumped back out. Farshid hadn’t spoken in a bad tone; he was smiling and joking. I wasn’t even angry with him anymore. At that moment, I was only ashamed of myself for being so ‘clueless.’
Once the young woman left, Farshid rushed out, grabbed the broom from my hand, and said, ‘I’ll do it myself later, come back inside.’ I went back in, blushing with that famous grin that appears on the faces of shy people who’ve just made a fool of themselves, nodding my head in agreement. That’s when Farshid cleared things up for me. He laughed and said, ‘The girl asked for a movie called “Searching for the Groom.” There’s no such movie. I know them all by heart. I’d suspected she was flirting before, but as soon as she made up that title, I was sure. That’s why I told you to go out.’ I had never seen someone ‘flirt’ (nakh dadan) before. I had no idea what the benefit was for either party. I just knew that ‘it’s wrong for girls and boys to be friends.’ Boyfriends and girlfriends were ‘bad.’ I didn’t press the matter. I was anxious and embarrassed, and while trying to look cool, I wanted to escape the conversation; so I just smiled and nodded. Finally, Farshid said, ‘Many people are like that; they just come to flirt, they don’t want a movie at all. Most of them come here for me.
that night, when I went home, my mother again proudly told the guests, ‘Saeed’s work involves computers.’ As usual, I just smiled and nodded; but deep down, I knew I was merely the ‘Head of the Wild Goose Chase Department’ and the ‘Chief of Strategic Sweeping During Sensitive Moments.